


No Solution

by Tallulah



Category: Death Note
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Late Night Conversations, Morality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 18:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9136729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah/pseuds/Tallulah
Summary: The night before the kidnapping attempt, Matt asks Mello about the morality of Kira.





	

Matt didn't exactly want to ask the question, but it had been bugging him for a while now and this was the kind of night when you said stuff you thought needed to be got off your chest. Or when you talked shit to distract yourself from the fact that tomorrow you were going to be doing something really stupid and probably suicidal. One of the two.

“You ever thought Kira has a point?”

Mello's head snapped round and he stared at Matt with that striking-snake look that usually signified approaching bloodshed. “What the _fuck_ kind of question is that.”

“Hey, a lot of people _do_ think he has a point, otherwise we wouldn't be in this mess now. Just... you've... kind of killed a lot of dudes. You had your reasons. He's got his –”

“I did what I had to do in order to take him down,” Mello said, voice rising. “He did what he chose to because he's a fucking megalomaniac –”

“You could easily swap those two round, you know –”

Mello was up on his feet and Matt wondered if this might finally be the time his friend pulled a gun on him – at the very least he was steeling himself for a fight – but all at once Mello just sighed, and slumped a little, and said, “What the fuck do you want from me?”

“I...”

“I get it, okay. I know. I'm a fucking hypocrite. Fine. Okay. The point is... first off, he killed L.” Mello's voice edged with that childlike confusion that Matt was never, ever going to admit out loud existed but which came out every time Mello talked about L not being here. “He killed L and I've got to take him down for that. We've got to. That's... just how it is.”

Matt nodded. For him, it was more like, _Mello wants to get something done so I help him out_ , but he figured he didn't need to say that. That was _just how it is_ , too.

“And even if he hadn't, I'd be gunning for him,” Mello said. “Like... so he thinks it's all black and white, and he's white and everyone else is black. It's not like that. People aren't just like... See, everyone's shit, basically. People do what they have to in order to feel good or feel safe or whatever. Pretending you're not like that, or like you're gonna fix that just by killing everyone you don't agree with... Okay, so...”

He glowered over at Matt, a sort of if-you-mention-this-after-tonight-I'll-kill-you face. Matt kept his own face chill and calm and hey-we're-all-cool-here. Eventually, Mello said, “My dad was a piece of shit, you know that. He didn't want me, he didn't want to make the effort to actually not be terrible. And yeah, when I was a kid I would've loved it if some magic god had pointed down from the sky and just been like, _you. You suck. Die._ ”

Matt nodded. 

“But it's...” Mello started pacing, quick fierce steps, same as he did when he was laying out a plan. “Okay, great, so say that kind of stuff happens, say my dad knows the eye in the sky is watching him. I doubt he would've been any nicer to me if he'd only not been smacking me around 'cause he was scared of dying. He'd just have found other ways to be a prick. And my mum was... she was a stupid bitch but she was trying at least. Say my dad lays off the beating but my mum's still pulling the scams to get food on the table. She's a criminal, so Kira kills her, spares him. Yay, now I'm even more fucked. Or Kira kills both of 'em because they're worthless lazy trash, then why'd he leave their kid alive? No way I wouldn't grow up to be just as bad. You can't fix everything like that. He's a moron for not seeing it.”

“I guess.”

“You don't guess, you fucking know. Near thinks he knows but he doesn't. He knows Kira's an idiot but he thinks there's still a way to solve it, just a much more complicated one. Which he figures he'll work out because he's so fucking good at puzzles.” Relaxing back into the usual Near-related scorn. “You know and I know there isn't any solution at all. There's just winning and losing.”

“And that's why we're going out there tomorrow.”

“Damn straight. Now stop asking stupid questions. It's way past time for that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 12daysChristmas 2016.


End file.
